If your child has mentioned a friend they have never met in real life, you might have been a bit unsure about it. That is understandable. But friendships that start in online games can be just as important as the ones made at school or on the playground.
In games, kids work together. They help each other out, they argue sometimes, they sort things out. Over time, these turn into proper friendships. A 2024 survey by Pew Research found that nearly half of US teens said gaming helped them make friends, with 47% saying they have made a friend online through a game they both play.
How online friendships are different
Online friendships work a bit differently though. Kids tend to connect through shared interests rather than where they live or what school they go to. For some children, especially those who find it hard to fit in locally, this can make a real difference. A lot of the communication is text-based too, which can actually help kids who struggle with face-to-face conversations. They have a moment to think before they reply.
Things to watch out for
Like any friendship, online ones do need some oversight. There are a few things worth keeping an eye on. If an online friend asks your child to keep conversations secret, or asks for personal information like their school name or address, that is a concern. The same goes for anyone who tries to move conversations to a different platform, or who makes your child feel uncomfortable. These are the same warning signs you would look for in any friendship. It does not change just because it is online.
What you can do
What helps most is showing an interest. Ask your child who they played with, the same way you would ask about their day at school. If they feel like you take their friendships seriously, they are much more likely to talk to you about them. Telling them that their online friends are not real friends is probably the quickest way to get them to stop sharing things with you.
Setting some boundaries is reasonable. Keeping conversations within the game, not sharing personal details. That sort of thing. But telling them to stop talking to people online entirely is different, and usually does more harm than good.
If you get the chance, play a game with your child sometime. You will see how these friendships work and it might make more sense afterwards.
Children today have a wider social circle than previous generations did. That is not a bad thing. Online friendships involve the same skills as any other — being kind, being loyal, learning to compromise. The most helpful thing you can do is stay involved and treat these friendships with the same respect your child does.